Tears
by Shinigami Maria
Summary: A story of how confusion muddles a couple of young lovers' minds, causing the most painful of heartbreaks and the sweetest of reunions.  18OC


_Tears…._

She knew it all too well, the familiar sting of tears trying to escape from her control, the familiar sight of Hibari-sempai in front of her, seemingly mocking her with his apologetic gaze.

"_It could never be…"_

The words rung in her head. It hurt to think, it hurt to breathe, it hurt to look in his face and see that he did not feel what she felt, it just damned _hurt!_

"_Please…"_

Her pleas fell on deaf ears. He had already started to turn away from her, the slight echo of disgust in his eyes, tempting his temper to over-flow. She encouraged it. At least it was something. The emptiness she was surrounded in was terrifying. Even pain, she would welcome, just god let her _feel something!_

Her heart is in pieces, her face is a mess, her mind is jumbled. She runs, runs for cover. She covers her eyes, trying to hide from the world like a child hiding from a monster.

Her legs were burning, her lungs were too. She couldn't stop, not now, not when she knew there was great pain waiting for her the second she tastes rest.

The rain is pouring now, she can't escape. There's nowhere else to go….

Along the way, she finds big metal box, big enough to fit two people. She climbs in, ignoring the smell of dead things, because pretty soon, she would be one—if the storm didn't let up.

The storm doesn't let up, and her throat is thick. Her breathing is ragged, and she sneezes, huddling closer to herself in the lonely alley.

Namimori is dark, as if it understood how she felt. She just wanted to cry and cry until her voice is no more, and she did. No one heard. They were all too busy in their homes, laughing and smiling with their loved ones. Not her.

She no longer has anyone. Her family had left her alone. Her friends had long gone home, there was no one to share the bad with now…

The first flash of lightning, and she yelped. After that came thunder, she had covered her ears.

Night came and passed, but the storm did not. She could not go home.

She woke up in the cold, it was a good thing it was mid-spring. Her body was numb, but she could feel the head distributed around her body. There was no cold anymore…there was nothing else…Only the sound of raindrops falling and the warm sensation wrapping around her body.

Suddenly, there is a shadow. She shuffles deeper into the box for fear of meeting the unknown person. The stranger.

She laughs bitterly.

_But happiness is also a stranger…_

"I know you're there, omnivore."

The voice hurts, she knew this voice. It brought back many happy memories, but also stabbed at fresh wounds with sharp sticks drenched in acid.

"Don't make me drag you out. It will hurt."

The promise of pain sends a smile to her face, and she crawls out, looking at him sarcastically. She rolls her eyes.

He looks at her as if she had gone crazy and she sighs, crawling back into the box.

She hears him curse, and moments after, she was met with the sight of him crouched in front of the box, an expression of impatience drawn evidently on his chiseled features.

She yelps as he grabs her arm and yanks it painfully until she is out. She smiles at him sadly as he checked her arm for injuries. He curses as he feels her body temperature, dragging her with him.

She is brought back to his home, there is no one there either. They are alone—the two of them. The thought makes her blush deeper, but she can't tell. Her face is either too numb or too warm already from her fever. She sneezes.

She is being yanked again, deep into the house, where she is flung into a bathroom and a towel is thrown in her face and fresh clothes are laid at the side. She smiles, this was one of the kindest things you could ever get from the most fearsome carnivore in Namimori.

He is blushing, but he crouches down low anyway. She does not stop him from stripping her bare. She feels light now, as if her body could float in the air. She hugs herself, both from the cold and the embarrassment, because she does not want him to see her imperfect body. She was all too plain, nothing like the other beautiful women in the world.

She chances a look to his cold blue-grey eyes and quickly averts her eyes. It hurts too much. There is no feeling in his eyes, they betrayed no emotion whatsoever.

She barely registers the fact that she is being shuffled in the direction of the bathtub, and is being lifted and lowered into the warm water until she feels a burning sensation in her skin.

She cries out, tears springing in her eyes as she tries to climb out, only to be forced back in and held there by an iron grip.

Hibari Kyoya smells nothing like the many corpses he has killed. He smells of fresh blood and mint and apples and a hint of cinnamon and all those other things that they both liked. She is able to relax in his arms, breathing in a much of his scent that she can. Trying to take in as much of what was happening as she could, because she knows it will all be gone too soon.

She tries to savor the moment as much as she can because she knows that this is as far as she'll ever be able to get with him. She does not care whether he is holding her with feelings of love, or with no feeling at all. She just wants time to stop and let them stay as they are for all eternity.

But that is not possible and she knows it.

Soon, the burning stops and she feels him stroking her hair, sniffing it and snorting.

"You smell horrible."

The phrase makes her laugh. She laughs because he's right and she nods, untangling herself from his grasp, laughing at his wet uniform. He grimaces and splashes water at her, but walks away.

"Come downstairs when you're done."

She does not want him to leave, she wants him to stay. She does not register the fact that she has shot out of the water, but she snaps out of it as she looks into his shocked face as she grabs his sleeve. Her eyes soften and she lets go, slinking back into the hot water and reaching for the shampoo laid beside her.

She does not hear him leave, but does not care. He was like a cat after all, his footsteps were not usually heard.

But she yelps when she feels an extra set of hands help her massage shampoo into her scalp, looking back to see a flustered Hibrai Kyoya, who averted his eyes once he noticed that she was looking at him.

"I don't understand how you're able to love a monster like me…" he murmured softly as he gently continued to massage the shampoo into her scalp.

She smiled, grabbing the bucket from the side and rinsing her hair. She turned back to him with a soft expression when her hair was rinsed, surprising him with a wet hug. "Easy," she whispered gently into his ear, tears streaking down her cheeks. "It's because you're not a monster." She stroked the back of his head gently, nuzzling the junction between his neck and shoulder. She thought for a second that her ears were broken because she could have sworn she heard the carnivore purring (?).

"Yes, I am," she heard him murmur, and the next phrase made her tears fall faster and her heart swell painfully as if it was going to burst from joy. It was as if all her life she had been floating in lukewarm water—it was not unpleasant, but it was lonely—and suddenly, a wave of warm water had washed in another person to join her, and suddenly they weren't alone anymore.

"_I love you too…"_

_**~*~**_**l ll lll **_**Hibari Kyoya POV **_**lll ll l**_**~*~**_

He felt as if he'd been lured into a trap and did not know how to get out. Here, the only girl of who's company he has actually enjoyed, was presented before him with a serious face.

"_I love you, sempai!"_

The words seemed so fake. It felt like it was only yesterday when he was gazing at her outside from inside the Reception room trying to keep track of her progress. He needed time, dammit! Why didn't she understand that?

And then, without thinking, he said, "It could never be…"

And then, she was running, running far from him, and he's surprised because he did not expect her to run so fast, and he's appalled at himself for saying such a thing. He's running, running far and searching wide, just for the sake of his most precious girl, of whom he had just hurt. He was a monster. A monster uncapable of feeling. He no longer deserved her. The though made him smile bitterly; what had made him think that he had deserved such a girl in the first place? She was too out of his reach, too high up for his earth-bound legs to reach no matter how high he tried to reach. She deserved better…

When he finally finds her, it is morning and she's shivering in a metal box unfit even for a sewer rat. He tries to be gentle, but his monster nature has made him bring the promise of pain, and the unthinkable happens. She craws out and looks at him sarcastically, rolling her eyes. It's funny how the simplest of expressions can tear into person's heart, he mused. It hurt him to think that he had brought her so much pain. Different from the pain of training and sparring, it was the type that no one deserved, not even the likes of the herbivores that he had bitten to death.

He sighs at the thought and crouches down low to look into the wretched box—he almost cringes at the smell that hits his nose, but he held it in, trying to lure the girl out.

His temper proved to be a hard thing to smother because he's lost his patience and now he's yanking hard. Yanking hard at her arm, ignoring her pained yelps, each one adding another deep gash into his already injured heart. He pauses and examines her temperature, her skin is too hot, her fever is too high, and he finds himself trying to hurry the girl to his house. He's trying hard, but he doesn't want to tire her.

He brings her back to his house. Its empty, of course. His parents have long been gone, his grandparents too, and the social workers have become too afraid of him to come near.

He hurriedly threw her into his bathroom, turning his closet inside out just to find one towel and his old clothes that will fit him, throwing those into the bathroom too. He looks at her shivering form, waiting for some indication that she knew what to do, but when he saw that she was too distracted, he glares up at the ceiling, reaching for her gently with his trembling hands. He has ever done anything like this before.

She was his first love. She had taught him how to feel emotions other than hate and pain. She had taught him love and happiness and without knowing it, she had also taught him jealousy. Majority of the herbivores that he has bitten now a days have been those that he had caught checking her out and trying to pick her up.

He struggles to keep his face blank and mentally compliments himself as he felt his blood pressure even out and his face cool down. And then his composure is almost destroyed because now he has truly seen beauty. Now he has truly seen the most beautiful thing in the world, because she is beautiful with her frail-looking petite form and pale smooth creamy skin that was the same shade all throughout her whole body.

He wanted to reach out and hold her, hold her so that she could not escape, hold her so that she could be his forever.

But he did not deserve her.

He fills the tub up with warm water and turns back to try and get her into the tub, but she is once again too preoccupied to notice her surroundings. That, or she was ignoring him. He wished that it was the former, because the latter truly hurt too much.

He had no choice then, he tried to tell himself as he touched the skin of her bare naked body for the first time. The touch sent tingles down his spine, probably partially because of the temperature of it, and he almost had trouble letting go of her to lower her into the tub.

And when he finally tried, it was as if the gods above were watching him because the moment he let go, she had shot up, which meant he had to keep hold of her. He wiped the tears from her eyes.

He struggled of course. Struggled in trying to comfort her, but he did not know what to say, so he kept silent, mentally berating himself for not being able to comfort his most precious girl. He wanted to whisper sweet nothings into her ear and feel her melt into his arms, but he simply did not know how. He was afraid; afraid of hurting her again. Afraid of carving another deep gash into her already too wounded heart.

But again, it was as if the gods above were watching him, because he feels her snuggling into him. He didn't care whether he got wet or not, he just wanted to be with this girl, but he knew it would not last forever. He tries to savor the moment as much as he can because she knows that this is as far as he'll ever be able to get with her because he has hurt her. He does not care whether she is hugging him with feelings of love, or with no feeling at all. He just wants time to stop and let them stay as they are for all eternity.

But that is not possible and he knows it.

He sniffs her hair and snorts. "You smell horrible." Another horrible phrase has slipped from his mouth, and he mentally smacks himself for saying it.

Soon, he felt her disentangle herself from his arms, and he is left with a cold, empty feeling, which is probably partially caused by the fact that his clothes have all gotten wet. He mentally smiles, relieved because she has finally smiled again.

He stands with a feeling of loneliness in his heart. "Come down when you're done."

He is surprised and caught off guard when he hears water splashing and the feeling of his sleeve being yanked back and comes face to face with her shocked face, and inside, he wonders why she was shocked, but forgets about his inner musings when he sees her face soften. She turns back and slides back into the tub.

He watches her with a bemused expression, but snaps out of it as soon as he sees her trying to massage shampoo into her hair, deciding that it was now or never. Awkwardly, he helped her massage the shampoo into her scalp, blushing a deep red and looking away when he noticed her watching him owlishly.

He felt a lump in his throat, but pushed it away by swallowing. "I don't understand how you're able to love a monster like me…""I don't understand how you're able to love a monster like me…" he murmured softly as he gently continued to massage the shampoo into her scalp.

She smiled, grabbing the bucket from the side and rinsing her hair. She turned back to him with a soft expression when her hair was rinsed, surprising him with a wet hug. "Easy," she whispered gently into his ear, tears streaking down her cheeks. "It's because you're not a monster." She stroked the back of his head gently, nuzzling the junction between his neck and shoulder.

And that was all it took.

His heart began to swell and he felt dizzy from happiness. It was as if all his life he had been floating in lukewarm water—it was not unpleasant, but it was lonely—and suddenly, a wave of warm water had washed in another person to join him, and suddenly they weren't alone anymore.

"Yes I am," he murmured stubbornly, still mentally berating himself for hurting her, but he smiled and said what he's been wanting to say for a while now.

"_I love you too…"_


End file.
